Summer's End.

Why did you KILL 

M Y   B E A U T Y

my one and only

 T  R  U  L  Y

    -      -     -

forever cursed

and cast into

eternal damnation

for ruining my 

most sweetest

and finest

C R E A T I O N.

there is no amount or representation

that could set you free

from your SINS.

i will fight you til the very end.

Daddy Day - June 16 2013

Happy Father's Day to all the true Father's out there, especially those left out Daddies who can only carry their Babies in their Hearts <3

~<3 Daddy's Girl <3~

It was a long and rough buildup to Father's Day accompanied by anger, disgust, and chaotic frustration. His Girl was unfairly robbed from him.  The day is finally here and it is calm and somber, with a touch of sweetness because this day just would not be without our Sweet and Dear Vylette.

i think its really hard in general to find the best way to give a gift/celebrate Father's Day, but I can't express how hard it is trying to find a way to celebrate Father's Day for an Angel Daddy. Men often internalize their feelings, especially Grief and Heartbreak.  The best way to approach it, at least I thought, was to prepare all his favorite foods ( Home made by me &Vylette's Grandma, of COURSE!)
and let him know i honor him as Vylette's Dada.

On Tonight's SOUTHERN STYLE ANGEL DADDY DAY MENU:  

*Fresh Brewed Homemade Sweet Tea
*Biscuits n Peppered Sausage Gravy Casserole smothered in Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese 
(Grandma was forced to make the sausage gravy part cuz I'm Vegan and don't touch meat!)

*Grandma's Chicken Nuggets and fries

& for Desert
Heart Shaped Warm Marble Pound Cake/ Rocky Road ice cream sammiches topped with Cool Whip and Ranibow Sprinkles.

HE LOVED IT, and soon after passed out ;p

Home Made Sweet Tea (first time making it!)

Biscuits n Gravy Casserole! (The Ultimate form of Biscuits n Gravy!)

This Angel Father's way of celebrating Father's Day.
A Good Meal and a Good Cry.
His Daughter's Love will always be nearby.

Half a Moon in a Fluffy sky full of Cotton Candy Pink - for being a Half of Daddy and a Half of Mommy.
~Love <3 Vylette~

Lots of Love to you Jerry. i wish she was here and i wish i could watch you be Her Daddy<3 

today she would run up to daddy and give his belly raspberries or at least id do it and make her laugh... i walk around the house and feel/ see her in my mind running around giggling, tugging at our legs while we hug. running up to Dada and pulling his hair and running away.. playing with my yarn, looking at my hair flowers.. miss my Lil' Mommy. 

Today Vylette would be One Year and One Half years old.

 i feel bad , i didnt have enough in me to muster up something.. i always make her something. Grandma has been busy working on something extra special for Vylette all day long. i feel like a bad Momma today.. i just am too sad, i could hardly wake up the last half of this month.  but today i woke up early.



Today was pouring.
i envisioned us going outside,
Jumping in Puddles with Pig Tails,
Kicking Pebbles, Watching Snails
& Smelling the Rain,,,
but no,
today was just like yesterday..
its all still the same.
 :*(*

day after day, with each one passing i have less words to say. this feeling is all encompassing, and getting in the way of me feeling ok and accepting some form of normalcy... in between here and there is an eternity. what should be will never be. i just wish my girl was here with me....

something woke me up to this beautiful sunrise

Bella talks to the birdies.

the sky cools down to purple

fluffy angel clouds up above.

lots of lights and lots of love.

misery is a butterfly.

<3

reflections; soul projections...of things that should, but cannot be.

Butterflies and Gems chime for you, from me. 

Yellow and Purple, high as the sky Pansies. 

the ways i see you here with me...

wishing You a very Happy Half Birthday.

expressing the words i cannot say...

a tiny sleepy, tired kitty...

what i want and need. but know You have.

and finally the Green Green Nature, at last...

 

~Spring has Sprung~

~Spring has Sprung~

its my very favorite Season,

though i've hardly seen a thing.

i haven't really ventured out

and haven't had a song to sing.

Vylette showed me all the Beauty,

but now i feel the STING.

what a pity,

its my duty

to let the bells of

JUSTICE

R I N G.

The Urge. - March 24, 2013

I want to take you

to

A MERRY-GO-ROUND

today

I wish those EVIL

careless

"women"

didnt have to 

make you go away.

there are not enough 

words left inside 

of me

to say

it really never

should have

ended up this way.

Id' hold you on the Horsies

as they'd go 

UP & DOWN

I'd clean up your tears

and the ice cream on 

your gown

I'd make you laugh

and smile

as we'd 

spin

Round & Round.

and rock you deep 

to sleep

as the sun is

setting 

down.

<3

Mommy

Asya Portnaya & Yuliya Milshteyn (of The Brooklyn Birthing Center)

The only tears i should see EVER My Momma cry are tears of pure joy, not ones of deep pain and sadness for the granddaughter she lost so unnecessarily.  she came home crying tonight.
it hurts my soul and enrages me that i can't do anything about this but wait.

Asya Portnaya & Yuliya Milshteyn of  The Brooklyn Birthing Center killed my daughter:
 Vylette Moon http://www.facebook.com/justiceforvylette

When you killed my Daughter,
WHEN YOU MURDERED MY DAUGHTER,
you not only killed her, you killed my whole family.
Your life goes on when it shouldn't.
You walk talk sleep eat work like you never harmed a baby.
how can you be so careless? so gluttonous? so selfish?
so evil.
how do you live with yourselves?
you killed a child of perfect health.
you killed a child who was so wanted and needed.
now that she's gone we don't know how to survive without her
but we do because we have to.
we have to bring her JUSTICE.

why does justice come from words in an old book, debated over between cold walls and people who were never even there? you and i know what happened. why can't justice be NOW. why can't it come as fast and easy as you killed my Vylette? why do we have to wait? I'm so sick of waiting.
why do you still get to work and touch pregnant women and babies?
why are you still able to see hold and care for your children?
one day when they grow up, they will know you are a murderer.
you are living a lie.
you are cold hearted and made of stone.
your profession is one of extreme importance. you don't work in a diner. you can't call out sick when you're just tired or feeling lazy. precious lives are at stake.
your job is to guide and nurture pregnant mothers, especially first time moms, and ensure that they are cared for properly & professionally.
babies are just money signs to you.
i could have all the money in the world, but i will never have my baby back.
you killed her.
you robbed us of HER LIFE.
she was going to be an Amazing Woman someday.

i have empty arms and my heart aches, 

but i am forever filled with the Light & Love of my Daughter.

you only have GUILT.

you committed the ultimate crime and you will be punished for it
not only by man, but under the eyes of God.

The Universe is Watching.

~Eye in the SKY~

I hope you

can feel

MY LOVE,

My Love...

from down here,

sent up above.

The Moon Floats

in the Sky

So High!

Oh, Can You Hear

My Lullaby?

and

Can You Reach Out

a helping hand,

to brush off the tears

My eyes doth 

descend?