The Last Spring.

Me & Vylette at Brooklyn Botanical Garden's Cherry Blossom Festival last year

My senses are confused.. its pretty out. Flowers blooming. but i feel sad. last year, this time, i was aware of a little life budding inside of me. everything was much more beautiful. it was as if i was living Spring for the first time in my life. the smell of flowers was everywhere...i needed to know what every flower, every tree, every bush was called. i imagined having my baby here with me wondering how i would explain things to her. i was tearing up imagining what life would be like this year, with my baby in my arms. i felt amazing and overwhelmed.. i started my research on natural baby things, and the coolest cutest toys and essentials. i started paying more attention to every detail of waking, breathing, eating and sleeping. never in my life had i felt that way. Vylette changed me. i felt softer and prettier. i felt like a true woman. i had a goal for once in my life. 

Now i walk these same streets, looking at the buds of early spring blossoming, and everything feels weird. i want to smile at the beauty of nature but my heart aches instead. i see her in the flowers and hear her in the birdies chirping in the trees. but i want to see her face, hear her voice, and watch her blossom too. ♥